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	<title>Professor Mom - Authentic Home Education &#187; five minds of a mom</title>
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		<title>Be a Better You: The Five Minds of a Mom</title>
		<link>http://professormom.net/2009/11/03/the-five-minds-of-a-mom/</link>
		<comments>http://professormom.net/2009/11/03/the-five-minds-of-a-mom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:27:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Heather Shanks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Matters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homeschooling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Focus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[five minds of a mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homeschooling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moms]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[&#0160;I was reading an article in Harvard Business Review that caught my eye.&#0160; (Yes, I subscribe to Harvard Business Review and probably will until my death&#8230; you can all stop laughing now:-)&#0160; The article is titled &#34;The Five Minds of a Manager&#34; by Jonathon Gosling and Henry Mintzberg.&#0160; By looking at the juxtaposition that the <a href="http://professormom.net/2009/11/03/the-five-minds-of-a-mom/" class="excerpt-more">&#8594;</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://professormom.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54f9a87f588340120a6510599970b-pi" style="DISPLAY: inline"><img alt="Five Minds of a Mom Thoughtful" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00e54f9a87f588340120a6510599970b " src="http://professormom.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54f9a87f588340120a6510599970b-320wi" /></a>&#0160;<br />I was reading an article in Harvard Business Review that caught my eye.&#0160; (Yes, I subscribe to Harvard Business Review and probably will until my death&#8230; you can all stop laughing now:-)&#0160; The article is titled &quot;The Five Minds of a Manager&quot; by Jonathon Gosling and Henry Mintzberg.&#0160; </p>
<p>By looking at the juxtaposition that the current culture puts business leaders in (collaborate vs. compete, be global vs. be local), the authors have isolated five primary &quot;management mind-sets.&quot;&#0160; These mindset perspectives&#0160;are:</p>
<ul>
<li>Managing self: the reflective mind-set
<li>Managing organizations: the analytic mind-set
<li>Managing context: the worldly mind-set
<li>Managing relationships: the collaborative mind-set
<li>
<p>Managing change: the action mind-set</p>
</li>
</li>
</li>
</li>
</li>
</ul>
<p>I can hear you wondering, &quot;What does this have to do with me &#8211; a homeschooling mom, keeping a home, and hanging out with my kids all day?&quot;&#0160; You&#39;d be surprised at the parallels that can be made between a homeschooling mom and a corporate manager.&#0160; I have taken the liberty of using the HBR article&#39;s&#0160;very insightful framework to examine how we can be more effective at homeschooling, running our household, knowing ourselves, and building&#0160;better relationships with our husbands, kids and friends.&#0160; </p>
<p>My own framework is probably less professional, but I hope it will be something you can relate to and find useful in your own way.&#0160; Without further ado,&#0160;I present you with the &quot;Five Minds of a Mom&quot;:</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 17px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; COLOR: #b7c296; FONT-FAMILY: ">1</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The Contemplating Mind</p>
<p>As moms, we are often caught up in the &quot;doing&quot; that comprises so much of our days.&#0160; If you are anything like me, a description of your average week would&#0160;be dominated by&#0160;action words.&#0160; Teaching, driving, cooking, coaching, dressing, soothing, cleaning, talking, correcting, training&#8230; these are all the things we do.&#0160;&#0160;Those things are the bread and butter of our lives as mothers.&#0160; Those things are valid and important.&#0160; </p>
<p>We can&#39;t, however, underestimate the importance of reflecting.&#0160; In reflection, we find meaning in the doing.&#0160; This is more natural for some people than others.&#0160; We can all benefit from taking the time to process what is happening in our lives.</p>
<p>How?&#0160; For me, this means taking a few moments to write in a journal or otherwise sit down to revel in my life.&#0160; I think of funny things the kids have said, savor the memory of time outside with my husband on a beautiful day, or reflect on a relaxing conversation I had with close friends.&#0160; I sit still with God to just be present and relaxed.&#0160; Life flies by at lightening speed, and the world is full of challenges and hardships.&#0160; If I didn&#39;t take a few moments here and there to look back on and contemplate the gifts, I think my heart would grow a little harder and my smile&#0160;would be a little less bright.</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 17px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; COLOR: #b7c296; FONT-FAMILY: ">2</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The Evaluating Mind</p>
<p>So, what exactly is the &quot;evaluating mind?&quot;&#0160; For a mom, the evaluating mind is the piece of you that reviews what happened today, this week, this month, this year.&#0160; You are looking for patterns in your behavior or in the behavior of your family.&#0160; You are deciding if you feel good about your activities and whether those activities really fit with your goals.&#0160; </p>
<p>My evaluating mind has recently been trying to find congruence between my business-related tasks and my desire to be fully present for my family.&#0160; I am not only <em>a</em> Professor Mom (homeschooling) and <em>the</em> Professor Mom (blogging), but I&#0160;also need time to be a wife, to give service to the church and community, and to have a little&#0160;humor and downtime&#0160;in my life. &#0160;I have been reflecting on how all of these roles intersect.&#0160;&#0160;</p>
<p>I&#0160;analyzed where my time is spent&#0160;and&#0160;discovered&#0160;that I was taking life in big chunks of time.&#0160; That worked better for me BC (before children:-)&#0160; In <em>this</em> season of my life, it&#39;s&#0160;important for me to be more flexible and ready to live in the moment.&#0160; I have to do a little of this and a little of that, rather than sitting down for 4 hours and focusing on one project.&#0160; It really isn&#39;t the way&#0160;I enjoy working, but it&#0160;creates a better environment for all of us when I make flexibility a priority.&#0160; So, I have learned to adjust.</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 17px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; COLOR: #b7c296; FONT-FAMILY: ">3</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The Exploring Mind</p>
<p>Have you noticed that the world holds a contradictory image of motherhood?&#0160; Typically,&#0160;mommyland is viewed as stable and non-adventurous, sometimes bordering on the mundane.&#0160; I am quite certain that we have all felt that at one time or another.&#0160; I have to tell you, though, being a mom has also been one of my greatest life adventures.&#0160; In between the mundane, trivial and downright boring moments, lie moments of joy, fear, risk and inner battle.&#0160; </p>
<p>When each of my sons goes through a new phase in his growth or behavior, I am basically embarking on new territory.&#0160; Have I already learned from former years or older children?&#0160; Of course, but every child has his or her own unique being and way.&#0160; It is my job&#0160;to anticipate and work with that unique nature.&#0160; I feel a sobering fear when I see something undesirable in&#0160;my child&#39;s heart&#0160;- maybe selfishness or defiance -&#0160;because I am never quite sure that I will be able to help them past it.&#0160; I persevere until I see improvement.&#0160; I take risks everytime I let them try out new things.&#0160; And, I feel the most inexplicable joy when I see our faith and family values alive in our children.</p>
<p>No matter how many days are filled with changing diapers, washing dishes and healing boo-boos, your life as a mother will continue to have a component of adventure.&#0160; Allow your mind to see your world through this lens.&#0160; Use it to explore the world around you, regardless of whether you are hanging out in&#0160;your backyard or traveling to a new country.</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 17px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; COLOR: #b7c296; FONT-FAMILY: ">4</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The Relating Mind</p>
<p>Moms have the distinct honor of relating to multitudes of different groups.&#0160; Homeschool groups, church groups, work groups, parent groups, sports groups, scouts, book clubs, etc. each bring with them a distinct subculture.&#0160; How do we handle the people who get on our last nerve?&#0160; How do we reach out to kindred spirits?</p>
<p>Our relational styles have an element of genetic predisposition to them.&#0160; However, as we get older, we find that we have this awesome ability to broaden ourselves and the way we interact with other.&#0160;&#0160;By developing the areas&#0160;toward which&#0160;we don&#39;t naturally tend, we can connect with the mom down the street who may seem quite different.&#0160;&#0160;</p>
<p>If you are a very boisterous person, you can work on your listening skills and attempt to tone it&#0160;down a bit for the quieter&#0160;person you&#39;d like to develop a friendship with.&#0160; Likewise, by creating a conversation script, someone who is quite timid and shy&#0160;can venture forth into new groups confident that they have&#0160;the&#0160;ability to start a conversation.&#0160;&#0160;</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 17px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: "><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; COLOR: #b7c296; FONT-FAMILY: ">5</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The Engaging Mind</p>
<p>The engaging mind encompasses you as a<span id="fck_dom_range_temp_1225741462031_252"></span> whole person and how you interact with others.&#0160; You take each day and incorporate its experiences into your essence.&#0160; The people you have met, the things you have done, the sights you have seen, are each absorbed.&#0160; Your authentic self works with those experiences, judging them good or bad, helpful or irrelevant.&#0160; You keep what works and discard what doesn&#39;t.&#0160; Wisdom is the filter for all of it.&#0160;&#0160;&#0160;</p>
<p>I find this happens almost subconsciously.&#0160; The payoff comes when I realize that through the engaging process my mind has come to a hard decision or I have broken a bad habit that I&#39;ve been struggling with.&#0160; God guides us through this mind.&#0160; I find it encouraging when I hear Him &#39;speak&#39; like this.</p>
<p>After examining each of the &quot;Five Minds of&#0160;a Mom,&quot; you probably find yourself drawn more readily to some of these perspectives than others.&#0160; We each have distinct personalities that draw on different strengths.&#0160; </p>
<p>Let&#39;s look at the term introvert.&#0160;&#0160;Introverted people are not the stereotypical shy, social outcast types.&#0160; Introversion really means that you draw your energy from time alone.&#0160; Introverts are typically more adept at using the Contemplating Mind.&#0160; Their nature draws them to reflect on their experiences and draw meaning from them.&#0160; </p>
<p>On the flip side, extraverts draw their energy by&#0160;interacting with others.&#0160; Extraverts will often feel quite comfortable with their Exploring Mind.&#0160; They look outwardly and engage in experiences outside of themselves with enthusiasm.&#0160; </p>
<p>We all can benefit from utilizing&#0160;our less-natural minds more often.&#0160; As with everything worth doing in life, practice makes perfect.&#0160;&#0160;Over the next&#0160;few weeks, check in with yourself&#0160;to see which of the minds you tend toward.&#0160; Then, try&#0160;to work on one of your under-developed minds.&#0160; By rounding yourself out in this manner, you may stumble upon ways to bring more light to all of the different facets of your life.</p>
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